Yes, Pipkins has been court ordered to supply a warning to contact center managers who are using our workforce management products. It has been determined by the governmental office of People Who Know More Than You (PWKTY), that some algorithms found in Pipkins’ products, particularly Merlang have developed unusual characteristics that sets it apart from Erlang C.
Merlang offers correct modeling of queue sizes and abandon rates, indirect occupied time can be determined, as can more accurate predictions of abandons and busy signals. However, because the algorithms have aged for over 35 years, they have developed into a more sophisticated and sexy series of numbers. PWKTY investigators have found more CEOs sending champagne and roses to their workforce management teams. Likewise, because the businesses are seeing lowered costs, the employees are enjoying higher pay. “This is absolute madness,” declared one agent of PWKTY who wishes not to be named, “and it is so unfair to those employees of companies that only use Erlang C.”
PWKTY has also reported a lower incidence of depression and substance abuse among workforce management directors, supervisors, and managers. Self-report data supplied by those WFM users identified above, demonstrated higher levels of happiness, higher levels of job satisfaction, a better sex life, and lower anxiety levels after being exposed to Merlang. Co-workers, spouses, and significant others have also noted physical changes in the appearance of these directors, supervisors, and managers. Those in management positions appear to have better posture, more appealing personalities, wider smiles, a general glow around their personas, and an unexplainable swagger in their steps.
Now that you have been warned, are you ready to sign up?